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Arcana Imperil
By
Ryan Ridge, Oct 08, 2009
WHEN IN ROME
Proceed to the nearest orifice and enter.
ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAYDREAM
I tried to build Rome in a daydream. Failed. Tried again. Failed again. Rome wasn’t built in a daydream. However,
Paris, Tennessee was.
SOUTH OF ROME
All roads lead to Rome, so I took one, but it happened to be a toll road and I didn’t happen to have any cash on
me, so I ended up south of Rome, but I met some very nice people there.
IV
To a nurse an IV is one thing, but to a Roman it is four things!
WHEN IN SOUTH ROME
Do as the Southern Romans do: build crucifixes and colosseums and worship Jupiter on Saturdays.
ANCIENT KNOCK KNOCK JOKE
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Jupiter!
Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry, or you’ll miss the crucifixion and the orgy!
TWO DIVISIVE ROMANS
Baskerville & Polanski
ANCIENT DIARY ENTRY: 4 JUNE 474
“And to think they said I was wasting my fucking life when I said I was going into vandalism!”
Ryan Ridge writes and teaches in Southern California. His words have appeared, or are forthcoming, in
5_Trope, DIAGRAM, elimae, The Mississippi Review, Salt Hill, SmokeLong Quarterly, Wigleaf, Word Riot, and
elsewhere. He edits the fiction at Faultline Journal of Art & Literature.
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